Who’s Will?
God, will you . . .
A few years ago, God led me to a sweet friendship with two of the most precious ladies. How our paths crossed only God could have orchestrated! We're an unlikely group with so many of the same interests near and dear to our hearts!
Our trio began at my dining room table when one of my daughters needed help picking out seeds for her college horticulture society spring flower sales. These ladies know beauty and flowers!
From there we had Bible studies where we shared our hearts, to visits in one another's homes sharing the most vulnerable parts of our stories. This beautiful relationship was truly a blessing that I hadn't realized I needed!
Then the unthinkable happened, one of our trio got sick and within a few short months was taken all too soon. My heart was broken, shattered. The crazy thing was the week before she passed, I had cried out to God begging Him not to take my friend. Why, because I knew He was able!
Then, came the call. The one our hearts plead to never receive - she's gone.
WHAT?!?!?! I knew she wasn't great - but I didn't know it was this serious.
Please, give me just 5 more minutes, even 1 . . .
This cannot be happening, but it is.
God, we didn't have enough time! Remember when we would get together with our husbands and how much we enjoyed one another's company?!?! It was amazing!
Her family still needs her, she's the Proverbs 31 woman we all long to be! She supports and loves them each with a fierce love only a wife and mother can give. She cherishes them and they her!
The evening my friend went to be with Jesus, I read the verse on my lock screen:
I am the Lord , the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?
Jeremiah 32:27 NIV
After reading those words, I screamed out in anger, NO GOD, NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR YOU! SO WHY DIDN'T YOU HEAL MY FRIEND LIKE I BEGGED?!?!?!?! Why, God, why?
And then I went to bed.
The next morning I woke up to the gentle, loving presence of the One I had just yelled at the night before directing my thoughts to the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus uttered these words
My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.
Matthew 26:39
Matthew tells us Jesus uttered those words 3 times and each time ending the same:
Your will be done
Our Savior, in His humanity was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death
But in His holiness He prayed for Jehovah God's will to be done. While suffering as we do here on earth, Jesus, the Son of God, asked for His Father's will to be done.
In my mind, I thought telling God specifically what I wanted would change the inevitable outcome that I knew in my heart of hearts was unfolding. Hear these words: God wants us to ask Him for specific things - Jesus did. However, in the ask, must also come the surrender.
Your will, God, not mine ~
Surrender doesn't eliminate the hard, the ugly; surrender opens our souls to receive God's grace for the hard, the ugly.
God, I miss my friend desperately. Give those whose lives she touched the strength to carry on her sweet legacy of loving and serving You, in Your Name.
Blogger's Note: I will not longer be posting on social media. If these words in any way have touched your heart, please share with a friend.
So beautifully written…
Touching, heartfelt, and best of all-CONVICTING!
I love your heart! Thanks for sharing it with us.
Very well penned. Always His will. Not mine.
It’s so hard to “give in” to but we must realize that it IS his will. Thank you for all you words of wisdom my friend, you are a blessing!
Thank you. <3
So beautiful! Thanks for sharing your hard story of surrender!